A Little Less Than Sunshine

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by JC Girard

The feeling is like wearing my first pair of glasses: I saw all the colours and the world was a beautiful place – or so I thought. Then I was told I needed glasses. Of course, like any child, I denied it. Why would I need glasses? I can see everything perfectly fine! On my way home from the eye doctor I couldn’t help but smile because those blobs that our car passed on the street weren’t blobs, they were people. They were beautiful people with facial features and brightly coloured clothes. They weren’t blobs. I was ignorant of the details until I received my first pair of glasses. Suddenly everything was more beautiful! I thought I had it all until I received my glasses. The feeling is like wearing my first pair of glasses.

That may not make much sense so let me explain. I thought my life was pretty good. I was going through life repetitively sinning the same sins over and over again but it did not matter to me because I did not feel guilty about my sins. In fact, I was happy – or so I thought. It wasn’t a “life-changing moment” but it certainly was a moment that would lead to a life-changing decision. I decided that the life I was living was not who I was and as soon as I made a conscious decision to stop living the lie I had so blindly pulled before my eyes, the world seemed brighter! I could see the facial expressions and intimate details again. It was amazing. What I thought was good wasn’t really. I’m smiling more, I don’t feel pressured, and my days feel more productive!

Some people are taking bets already on how long my new found “happiness” will last. Some say a few weeks, others say a couple months. In changing who I am – or rather, DISCOVERING who I am – I have discovered one other thing… I will make a mistake, I will change something, I will get back on my feet. I will make another mistake, I will change something, I will get back on my feet. It may be an endless cycle leading to some destination that I’m not sure of. I know where I’m going, I’m just not there yet. One thing I do know, it’s process over product. Ultimately, we’re all going to the same place, we’re just not all taking the same streets. For me, it’s one change at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, until the end of time…

 

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