No Sex Until Marriage

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by Joshua Cadieux

We all know that the bible (and all religions that I know of for that matter) says we should not have sex until we find the person we are going to spend the rest of our lives with. My problem comes with the fact that the time is very dated to say the least. In the early 1900’s even up to the early 70’s people were getting married pretty much as soon as they hit puberty. People were getting married at the age of 18. Anyone can wait until they are 18 to have sex. In this day and age even that is hard to do. If people tell you they are a virgin still in university, not that it’s a bad thing, just a rarity. People now aren’t getting married until they find their career and have some sort of stability in their lives. I won’t be done school until I’m 24 years old. Add on at least 2 years until I find a career ad that makes me 26. How can you wait 26 years without having sex, its science people, we have hormones. Obviously sex should be inside a loving relationship, I’m not questioning that. I just think that there is too much peer pressure and media pressure for young people to be sexually active at a very young age. The problem is that young people are not valuing their sexuality enough. I think there is a mentality that once you have sex one time before marriage, what’s 10 or 20? I have friends who are only 21 years old and have had sex with nearly 100 different girls. And before you start saying guys are all dogs, girls are not any better. Girls these are equally ok with the proverbial one night stand. Instead of telling young people to wait until they are married to have sex, THE END. They should be teaching them to wait until they are married, but if they can’t to respect themselves and be safe.

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One response »

  1. Your opinion is quite clear in this blog; but, I’m not sure I agree 100%… I do agree somewhat though! Things have changed in the world, and religion must grow with it.. so where does my disagreement come from? Let me explain…

    You mentioned that you think that we should be in a romantic, committed relationship before having sex for the first time. The idea behind waiting until marriage is that by marrying someone, it’s a guaranteed committed relationship. I just said “forever” in front of a couple hundred people, there’s no doubt we’re committed.

    On another note, (but quite related) you mentioned that after having sex for the first time we must think “well what’s 10 or 20?” That’s precisely what we’re trying to avoid… That mentality is what deviates us from God (in my faith and religion, that is). Then people (in general) begin to enter these spin cycles of needs. Those needs are met physically and suddenly, God takes a backseat to life.

    One of my best friends had a retreat based on chastity, and she told me something I will never forget. Sex is not only about two people. There are three components (and the same goes for a Catholic marriage) there is you, your wife (or significant other), and the Holy Spirit. Those are the three components to marriage, and to sex. Sex before marriage turns every encounter into a two-component thing… something will always be missing.

    Let’s not forget that one point of sex is to have children. Many fail to realize that even in a marriage, there should be some chastity present — it’s a sacrifice, offer it up.

    My last point is that you mentioned that long ago people were getting married earlier — please note that they were also dying earlier. We have so much of our lives to live!! You’re right, hormones. Man, those things just get in the way, don’t they? Quite hard to ignore. But what a blessing, to be able to wait until you are 26 to get married and have sex for the first time. What an amazing strength that must take to wait, and not give in to temptation. And how amazing that will be when, for the first time you make love to your wife, and she will make love to you; both knowing full well it’s a new journey you’re both encountering together — another stepping stone in the marriage, with God fully present.

    Yeah, it’s hard. Yeah, it’s big topic. And yeah, slip-ups do happen; we’re human, we make mistakes. But to know that you have the strength to hold off for someone beautiful, and to know that your wife has that strength… dang, that’s one strong relationship and it’ll be pretty hard to break it down.

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